


When in Beach Town

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [104]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beaches, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Other, Polyamory, Summer Vacation, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 15:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13883598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: pip pip doodly doo: WE'RE IN BEACH TOWNpip pip doodly doo: BRING ME POPCORN RESTAURANTlittle lion: I know you're my kid and I love you but did you HAVE to scream I was half in a cinnabon coma





	When in Beach Town

**Author's Note:**

> my 200th work on ao3!!

**little lion** : are you suRE you don't wanna come with us 

 **little lion** : bc we leave tomorrow and once we leave new york you Can't just text me like actually I think we'll come we are on a tight schedule

 **GWASH** : alexander I am Sure that we Do Not want to go to the beach with you and Seven Children, One of which tried to fight another person at the office today because they were about to steal the last of the coffee in the pot

 **little lion** : ,,,,you realize the other person was john right,,,,,,did nobody tell you she was fighting her own father,,,,

 **GWASH** : n o

 **GWASH** : god I want to retire

 **GWASH** : anyway No, me and martha are fine

 **GWASH** : we love your children, but they also are Loud, and one of the main reasons we do not Have children is because we are Quiet People and enjoy that

 **little lion** : ,,,,,ok but Also you understand if me, john, lafayette, and hercules all die our children go to you and martha right 

 **GWASH** : yes but hopefully that will never happen so none of us have anything to worry about

 **little lion** : okie and Tru, just makin sure

 **GWASH** : I appreciate that son

 **little lion** : ,,,,I am 42 years old

\---

 **johnn** : alex I love you dearly and you are Truly my sun, moon, and stars but can you pleASE finish packing so we can be done, have sex before going on this trip, shower, then sleep

 **little lion** : !! yes !! give me a minute I'm trying to match clothes to make Outfits

 **laf** : do you want me to help you??

 **little lion** : please I can't find anything and it's starting to Literally make me upset like to the point where I start crying because I'm so frustrated

 **little lion** : I hate packing for all things that aren't paris trips when we we're 30 when I packed all my garter belts and like,,two outfits bc all we did was have sex and eat

 **more like HUNKules** : oh dear

 **johnn** : I m i s s that trip

 **little lion** : I just want to find my khaki shorts that I got on sale at old navy but god just hat e s me

 **laf** : open the closet door please

 **little lion** : !! my khAKIS ARE STUCK IN THE DOOR!! YES

 **laf** : do you still want my help or no??

 **little lion** : yes I like being with you come in

 **laf** : !!

\---

 **frances** : PIP WHERE ARE A L L OF MY PAJAMA PANTS

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ??? you said you were packing all of francis' sweatshirts in your bag so I thought I'd just pack the pajama pants in Mine bc I have more room now that I don't have to pack my binders or swim shirts

 **frances** : I meaN ty but I have francis' sweatshirts in a bag so if you wanna put the pajama pants in my bag bc you want to put more shit in yours,,,or if you don't wanna move shit and put extra stuff in My bag, it's in here

 **pip pip doodly doo** : aighty I might put some shirts in there if that's okay

 **frances** : ya ya

 **pip pip doodly doo** : also who has all the shampoo and conditioner

 **anastasie** : mE I have like,,,two bottles of each thing

 **frances** : is that enough??

 **anastasie** : I'll pack another one of each

 **pip pip doodly doo** : okay good god bless

\---

 **theodosia the Second** : hello my loVE !! have I ever mentioned that I am, in fact, in love with you

 **pip pip doodly doo** : omg hi I love you sm

 **theodosia the Second** : ya I was just thinking abt how excited you were today for the beach trip and to be shirtless and I'm just in love you're so ha NDSOME

 **pip pip doodly doo** : !! I'm literally so excited we're gonna look so cute and I can't wait to just be on the fuckign boardwalk and eat ice cream w you and just n a P

 **theodosia the Second** : LITERALLY SAME like napping is going to be so fucking bomb my dad gave me extra money for beach umbrellas and idk WHY but I ain't complainin if it means we get to lay in the shade and not get sun poisoning

 **theodosia the Second** : also !! I'm all packed but I wanted to ask like,,,are we sleeping in the same bed @ this house,,,,or is that Not Allowed

 **pip pip doodly doo** : we're in like a big ass room with my sibs and francis and james but ya we have the full bed bc frances and her boyfs have the queen bc there's more of them

 **theodosia the Second** : yay!! I didn't want to be in like,,a twin bed,,,across the room or in a Separate room from you bc that's so sad and you are my Favorite Person

 **theodosia the Second** : but now I know I will be Snatched and I am packing more throw blankets which is why I wanted to ask in the first place so !! woo

 **pip pip doodly doo** : aw I love you so much !!

 **theodosia the Second** : I love you too!! I'm going to go to bed now though so I can wake up early tomorrow so I'll see you!!

 **pip pip doodly doo** : we're coming to pick you up at like 7:30-8!!

 **theodosia the Secon** d: okay!! gn!!

 **pip pip doodly doo** : gn!!

\---

 **james** : you are picking me up at WhAT TIME

 **frances** : eiGHT and if you are not awake I will literally leave without you

 **james** : ,,,,would you really

 **frances** : no but don't test me I swear to god james be up by seven

 **james** : SEVEN

 **frances** : YES !! because you have that twenty minute period where you lie in bed before you actually get up, and then thirty minutes to get ready, and then until you get your bags together, we will be There

 **james** : ,,fine but I want to nap in the car

 **frances** : that's fine we have the back of the van thing to ourselves so we can cuddle and we have blankets sO it will be fun

 **james** : I love you sm

 **frances** : I love you too omg

 **france eyes** : !! you're awake !! I was trying to sleep but I couldn't because I'm so excited but you're awake so !! hello

 **james** : hello my love I'm wearing one of your shirts and it smells like vanilla and I love you

 **france eyes** : I love you too!! and also Where are all of your clothes like I saw you this afternoon and you were in My work uniform ???

 **james** : ,,,,your clothes are so much more fun though,,,,like why wear my own when y'all just exist and leave your clothes places

 **james** : !! I did pack my own clothes for the beach though mostly so !! little victories

 **frances** : I packed all of francis' sweatshirts that were at my house and there's like 12 so don't pack Any Sweatshirts

 **james** : y e EA A A AA S I'm ALIVE

 **france eyes** : both of y'all are thieves and I would report you to the POLICE if you didn't steal my HEART along with all my fuckin clothes

 **james** : ?? you steal my shorts bc they make your ass look better when you run goodbye mr. henderson

 **frances** : and you have like six of my good sweaters bc you take pictures in them to make me CRY so GOODB Y E MR. HENDERSON

 **france eyes** : ,,,,I love you,,??

 **frances** : we love you too

 **france eyes** : also !! can I talk about how excited I am for this

 **james** : yES !! bc I am too and honestly I want to hear you ramble about it bc you cute

 **france eyes** : !! just the trip up is like !! bc I love long car rides and I love the both of you sm !! and now they like Collab and I'm so excited!! we're gonna look so gOOD @ the beach and the ocean is gonna drown me and I'm gonna literally eat noTHING but junk food the whole time and I sound like I'm eight,,,but it's real I'm so excited to be unhealthy food wise and just !! being with you both for a week is going to be fun like !! being with you in any capacity is fun but going to the beach and frances showing us places and getting to sleep in the same bed for an entire seven whole full days is just !! I'm so Pumped for it aLL

 **frances** : ,,,,,,babe,,,,kshdjshb I love you so much what the Fuck

 **james** : !! francis !!

 **james** : I'm going to bed again bc I need tomorrow to be here NOW and also if I plan to be awake for Any part of tomorrow I will need this sleep so gn!!

 **france eyes** : !! gn !! I love you both !! I'm gonna go pack all my vitamins and then sleep so !!

 **frances** : I'm passing the fuck out r!! N!! we love you too see you tom!!

\---

 **johnn** : !! I found the box of ice cream sandwiches we bought on wednesday !! do y'all Want Any

 **little lion** : my fucking jaw hurts so NO

 **more like HUNKules** : I love him he's so angry but he's curled up on my stomach and he is So Small

 **little lion** : you Broke my Mouth

 **more like HUNKules** : and I am sorry for that love but at the same time you Asked me, literally flat out, if you could do that and my hands were Literally Tied

 **little lion** : this is bullying

 **johnn** : ,,,so is that a yes or no on the ice cream sandwiches

 **more like HUNKules** : ya I want one, alex still says no, and lafayette is still in the bathroom so idk if they're seeing these or not

 **laf** : I just brushed my teeth so I'll pass

 **johnn** : okie

 **little lion** : wait are you still bringing me water

 **johnn** : yes

 **little lion** : okay ty I love you

 **johnn** : I love you too!! I'm coming up now

 **little lion** : woOO

\---

 **little lion** : UP UP UP UP UP WE LEAVE IN ONE HOUR

 **anastasie** : can someone come in here and help me I can't find my glasses

 **laf** : I'm coming !!

 **anastasie** : ty

 **pip pip doodly doo** : god I love the beach but I Hate waking up early for it

 **pip pip doodly doo** : can we go to that fucking sports restaurant with the popcorn when we get into like the Beach Town

 **little lion** : yes!! get dressed!!

 **pip pip doodly doo** : yES !!

 **johnn** : let me lay on hercules for five more minutes and drown in his lavender soap

 **more like HUNKules** : rt

 **frances** : IM UP AND IM READY TO FUCKING PARTY

\---

 **frances** : JAMES CUNNINGTON I SWEAR TO FUCK

 **james** : IM AWAKE IVE BEEN AWAKE WHY ARE WE YELLING

 **frances** : wait really

 **frances** : what time did you actually get up

 **james** : 6:30,,,I wanted to be up when you called so I could talk to you but you didn't call me :^((

 **frances** : I'm calling now I love you

 **james** : I love you too!!

\---

 **laf** : GET!! UP!!

 **johnn** : but I love hercules and his chest is like a fucking pillow

 **more like HUNKules** : and I love john he's so warm and his hair just spills out Everywhere and I'm not even gonna talk abt my view Past his head bc once I start talking abt john's back muscles I really don't stop

 **little lion** : this,,,makes me want to get back in bed,,,but I'm already dressed and I look super nice so,,,no,,,but I will take a min to take pictures bc goD I'm lucky

 **laf** : !! you're in purple !! I love you so much !!

 **little lion** : !! I saw the sundress you had out and thought we should coordinate

 **laf** : you Kill Me

 **little lion** : and you're about to send me to an early grave bc of how beautiful you look in yellow sO

 **laf** : fair come here I'm gonna kiss you to Death

 **little lion** : hKHSKAK

 **johnn** : and weRE UP I love you both sm hercules is wearing yellow he doesn't get to not

 **more like HUNKules** : alex in tank tops really hardcore reminds me of how gay I am come here

 **little lion** : comin !! but you have to get dressed after or I swear to god I will not kiss you this whole entire trip

 **more like HUNKules** : ,,,fine  
\---

 **france eyes** : OKAY BEFORE WE GO QUICK QUICK Q U I C K QUESTIONS

 **france eyes** : WHO ALL IS GOING AGAIN AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM

 **james** : !! YA YA

 **frances** : y'all are,,,wild

 **frances** : OKAY SO, THERE'S MY PARENTS

 **james** : RIGHT ALEX, HERC, JOHN, LAFAYETTE ALL OF WHICH WE WILL CALL BY HONORIFIC/LAST NAME BC LOOKING A MAN IN THE EYES AND CALLING HIM HERCULES IS NOT A THING THAT PEOPLE DO AND I AM THREE YEARS OF AGE

 **frances** : HSJSHDKHS ANYWWAY

 **frances** : theN THERE'S ME, ANA, PIP, AND HIS GIRLFRIEND THEODOSIA BURR

 **james** : burr as in aaron burr??

 **frances** : ,,yes??

 **france eyes** : oH!! he comes into the smoothie shop sometimes and gets his wife and daughter drinks I love him he's so tired all the time

 **frances** : ,,,,,,also yes

 **frances** : theo is his Daughter and she's really nice you'll like her

 **james** : cool cool cool yes yes

 **france eyes** : CAN I TALK ABOUT HOW RELIEVED I FEEL NOW KNOWING THAT WE ARE NOT THE ONLY SIGNIFICANT OTHERS GOING TO THIS TRIP LIKE I WAS OKAY W IT BUT ALSO I WAS A LIL AFRAID

 **james** : samE TBH??

 **frances** : aw babes

 **frances** : !! and then there's you two and then my aunt elizabeth and uncle hugh and my little cousin william and you met them when they were here for graduation but !! hugh is hercules' brother and him and elizabeth are separated but they still live together for william and they're like best friends they just don't Work as a married couple is how it was Explained to me like,,,six years ago,,,and they're super cute and william is my !!fave!!

 **france eyes** : aw that's so cute

 **james** : frances is facetiming me and she's,,,,so cute,,,I,,,love her so much

 **frances** : I am brushing my teeth and I look like I am foaming at the mouth james is Dumb

 **james** : I ain't she's v cute

 **france eyes** : I know I love her sm

 **frances** : ,,,y'all are too much I love you both a lot and we're leaving really soon so !! be ready

 **james** : I'm gonna get dressed but I'm not gonna hang up

 **frances** : ,,,am I allowed to Stare

 **james** : yes

 **frances** : y e s

 **france eyes** : this is,,,rude

 **frances** : <3 too bad

\---

 **aaron colder than ice** : if you kill my daughter I'll be really mad

 **little lion** : firST of all: rude

 **little lion** : second of all: I have been raising children for a Long Time, three of them in fact, and I am well versed in this Skill

 **little lion** : not to mention she is literally 17 and can kind of take care of herself mostly??

 **aaron colder than ice** : ,,,,,okay but still if you kill my daughter I'll be really mad

 **aaron colder than ice** : theodosia said she loves you but also she will kill you

 **little lion** : okay fine but we're here w the bus and pip is Running towards your front door so if you could open it maybe,,,

 **aaron colder than ice** : yeah coming

 **little lion** : hercules is also there but it's to carry bags bc he's Lorge and pip just wants to like,,,scream abt the beach and be in love or whatever children do

 **aaron colder than ice** : ,,,alex,,,,you and thomas literally Gushed yesterday abt this beach trip I know your Entire agenda and I Did Not need to

 **little lion** : ,,,,,I'm like seven

 **aaron colder than ice** : why do I subject myself to this goodbye alexander

 **little lion** : byE

\---

 **little lion** : we're in laws with the Burrs

 **laf** : yeah but look how happy theo makes phil that's so cute

 **little lion** : You make Me the happiest person in the World

 **laf** : alex that's so gay,,,,I love you sm

 **little lion** : I love you too!!

\---

 **theodosia the Second** : aw your parents are so cute I love them

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I'm

 **theodosia the Second** : whAT they just like did a cute forehead touch thing that's super cute

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I know but they're my Parents so it's like,,,well ya they do that all the time and also they're my Parents

 **theodosia the Second** : ,,fair,,,,like when you say my parents are cute bc they drink tea in our study and read books and hold hands,,,,like ya they do this every night

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I stand by that because it Is cute af and I do want that with you in the Future

 **theodosia the Second** : we're gonna be so fuckin cool

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I mean,,,we're pretty cool now,,,,

 **theodosia the Second** : tru tru

 **theodosia the Second** : also which throw blanket do you want I brought all your faves

 **pip pip doodly doo** : !! do you have the lime green one that's fuzzy

 **theodosia the Second** : !! yes hold on

 **pip pip doodly doo** : y e s I want to wear this blanket Forever

 **theodosia the Second** : you're so cute

 **pip pip doodly doo** : <3 <3 <3

\---

 **frances** : JAMES, MY LOVE, WE ARE HERE

 **james** : IM AWAKE NONE OF MY FAMILY IS PLEASE DO NOT COME TO MY DOOR

 **frances** : can I come to the stoop and help you with your bags w my dad

 **james** : yeah I only have two bags but !! ye

 **france eyes** : I love you

 **james** : I love you too

 **frances** : we're on the stoop!!

 **james** : coming !!

 **frances** : okay I know I saw you put these clothes on but you are so beautiful wow !! I'm dying

 **james** : iM

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : do james' parents want to talk to us??

 **frances** : No they're Bad remember

 **more like HUNKules** : right right right sorry

 **more like HUNKule** s: do they know he's coming with us??

 **frances** : yeah they know but they don't really,,,care?? a lot?? about him??

 **frances** : he's letting me tell you this by the way he Knows

 **more like HUNKules** : okay that's good and also I'm sorry he's going through that

 **frances** : me too I love him so much

 **more like HUNKules** : aw

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : can we adopt frances' boyfriend

 **laf** : yeS

 **little lion** : nO that would be weird and also Why

 **more like HUNKules** : idk if I'm allowed to tell you

 **more like HUNKules** : it's abt his family tho he needs a new one

 **laf** : BRING HIM TO US

 **johnn** : we cANT ADOPT OUR DAUGHTERS BOYFRIEND

 **laf** : HE NEEDS A NEW FAMILY WE ARE A GOOD ONE

 **johnn** : YOU KN O W IM ALL FOR CHILDREN IN BAD HOME SITUATIONS TO GET AWAY FROM THEIR HOME, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT

 **laf** : JOHN PLEASE

 **johnn** : hE!! IS!! OUR!! DAUGHTERS!! BOYFRIEND!!

 **little lion** : okay,,,if frances asks if He can live in our house part time like phil asks abt theo, we say Yes, but we Cannot adopt him because then Legally frances cannot date him and it would be weird even then

 **little lion** : compromise

 **laf** : ,,,can we Ask him to live with us part time

 **little lion** : ok how do you plan to do that give me the pitch

 **laf** : ,,,I'll think of something

 **little lion** : oh my god

\---

 **frances** : I love you

 **james** : you've said it like twenty times I love you too

 **france eyes** : are you coming soon not to rush you or interrupt this moment but I said you were picking me up at seven and that's why I had to miss 6 am jogging and my fam is going to be back soon and they're gonna know I lied just to get out of 6 am jogging

 **frances** : yeah we're on our way we just have to make Large Turns bc of our big ass boat

 **frances** : named frances bc I'm the best one

 **james** : is it actually named frances bc you're the best one

 **james** : you Are the best one, no offense to ana or pip, but like,,,your parents seem to dish out heaps of love equally so like,,,I'm curious

 **frances** : ,,,,no they got the boat before they got me but they Knew they were getting me,,,,and they knew my name,,,,so they were like ! :^O ! and named the boat after me

 **france eyes** : does lafayette like your name bc it's like multiple of france the Country

 **frances** : hBJDHJHDJSDHSJ WE'RE AT YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR FAM IS AT THE OPPOSITE END OF THE BLOCK HURRY BITCH

 **france eyes** : SOMEONE COME GET MY JOGGING SHORTS

 **frances** : FUCKING W H Y MY DAD IS GOING BC WE'RE IN THE BACK BACK BACK AND CANT GET OUT WITHOUT CLIMBING

 **france eyes** : IM SOBBING

 **james** : this is,,,so upsetting to watch,,,,I feel like I'm witnessing you die

 **france eyes** : IM LITERALLY CRYING

 **frances** : j e s u s

\---

 **anastasie** : are,,,,is he okay,,,

 **frances** : I'm literally about to become a widow and this is what you ask me

 **anastasie** : you'll look cool at the funeral though

 **frances** : ,,,,that is true I would look bomb

 **frances** : anyway not the time

 **anastasie** : fair I'm going back to bed tell me when we stop for food

 **frances** : will do

 **anastasie** : ty gn

\---

 **france eyes** : your boat is so huge are we gonna go on That

 **frances** : probs one day, Hence why we Brought it

 **james** : do you know how to like,,,steer

 **frances** : hercules has been trying to teach me but I don't like it bc it's a boat and what if I kill a fish

 **james** : I,,,,love you,,,,and also that's kinda hot

 **frances** : unbelievable

 **frances** : wanna make out

 **france eyes** : we're in a car with your parents!!!!!

 **frances** : ,,,,ya so

 **james** : they're gonna see!! and I always laugh when we make out because your hands tickle so we'll be found out and that's really uncomfortable!!

 **frances** : mmkay then I'm gonna nap

 **james** : Y E S I'm down w that come here

 **james** : no wait I want francis to be in the middle

 **frances** : yes!! my babe !!

 **france eyes** : omg yay I love being in the middle I always feel so warm and comforted

 **france eyes** : almost as much as I love warming and comforting from Not the middle

 **france eyes** : cuddling !! I like cuddling you it doesn't matter where I am

 **frances** : ,,,,,I'm literally going to find somewhere in the beach house when we get there to make out with you both I don't care if it's the Last thing I do

 **james** : good bc I am Not making out with either of you in front of frances' parents but that doesn't mean I don't want to make out with you At All for a Week

 **france eyes** : rt

 **frances** : we'll figure it out

 **frances** : let's sleep now tho

 **france eyes** : I love you !!

 **james** : I love you too!!

 **frances** : love you!!

\---

 **laf** : ""if you ever need a place to stay or just want to get out of your house for a while, you can always come to our house""

 **little lion** : that's good

 **laf** : go to sleep love you're drifting off on my shoulder

 **little lion** : but you're not going to sleep which means you'll be Not cuddling me and I'll be Cold

 **laf** : you can do that thing where you lay in my lap and dig your nose into my abdomen

 **little lion** : you Hate that

 **laf** : not when I'm in a dress that Doesn't have buttons that dig into me

 **little lion** : !! yes gn gn gn I love you sm

 **laf** : I love you too dear

\---

 **elizabeth s** : YOU'RE HERE WE HAVE SO MANY F U C K I N G BEACH TOYS

 **more like HUNKules** : uhHh all my kids and spouses are sleeping along with their respective significant others do not make a Sound you will wake them All Up and I will not forgive you they all look so peaceful

 **hugh lowercase** : william is so excited and when he's excited he talks so uH we make no promises

 **more like HUNKules** : william is okay he's their fave cousin so he is always forgiven

 **elizabeth s** : ,,,I understand but at the same time Rude

 **more like HUNKules** : it is how it is

\---

 **frances** : WILLIAM IS HERE

 **frances** : aLSO NEW GC WITH ALL THE CHILDREN EXCEPT WILLIAM BC HE TEN BUT WILLIAM IS H E R E

 **france eyes** : he's like tiny

 **frances** : I KNOW WE LOVE HIM

 **anastasie** : I GET TO SIT NEXT TO HIM BE JEA LOUS

 **pip pip doodly doo** : HE HAS SANDCASTLE BLUEPRINTS IM ??

 **theodosia the Second** : they're,,,,actually really good,,,,who is this small child

 **anastasie** : a fucking s t a r I love him

 **theodosia the Second** : aw !!

\---

 **little lion** : y'all should be up by now how are you

 **macaroni fUCK** : sad bc I miss you but happy because us, lucy, and jane are blocking out a whole day to Watch Movies

 **jmadzzz** : I love our family we're eating popcorn for brunch

 **little lion** : fucKING I love you both so much

 **little lion** : I'm going to miss you and already miss you sm!!

 **macaroni fUCK** : us too!! it would be so nice if you were here but how !! is the drive down so far

 **little lion** : we're only like,,,half an hour in,,,and elizabeth, hugh jr., and william are here and my children are all talking to william and I love them all sm

 **jmadzzz** : ,,,you're somebody's uncle

 **little lion** : ,,,isn't your neice like,,,,15,,,,

 **jmadzzz** : oh my god yeah

 **jmadzzz** : IM A FATHER

 **macaroni fUCK** : ,,,,our child is Also 15 years old,,,,

 **jmadzzz** : ,,,,oh my god I love them

 **macaroni fUCK** : my husband is,,,crying

 **little lion** : ,,,what have I done

 **macaroni fUCK** : nothing he's just emotional all the time

 **jmadzzz** : tru tru tru I need a min

 **little lion** : I love you so much??

 **jmadzzz** : I love you too!! my heart is crying rn I love everyone so much!! I'm too old to be overwhelmed like this!!

 **macaroni fUCK** : he's so cute

 **jmadzzz** : I hate thomas he's beautiful and Stupid

 **macaroni fUCK** : I kissed his forehead and now his hands are like,,,on my rib cage just Holding me and I'm

 **little lion** : ?? where are jane and lucy ?? I thought you were Watching Movies I would die if I were them

 **macaroni fUCK** : they're making more popcorn meanwhile I fucking loVE james I'm going to smother him w my Lips and he's gonna DIE

 **jmadzzz** : goodbye cruel world

 **jmadzzz** : oh no wait the children are back and Scolding Us bye alex!! we love you!!

 **little lion** : I love you too!! bye!!

 **little lion** : WE'RE STOPPED AT A PLACE WITH A CINNABON GOOD THE F U C K BYE

 **macaroni fUCK** : HSJHD

\---

 **little lion** : hey hello while we're waitng for cinnabon can I Talk about how much I'm going to miss james and thomas bc,,,bitch,,,

 **laf** : when did you fucking leave for cinnabon?? also yes you can we always like hearing you talk

 **little lion** : okay because !! it's like before the First time we dated we were like Yes this is a Thing that Exists and will exist for a long Time and like !! that's fine I loved that and now it's like !! this is a Thing that Existed and Ended and now Exists Again but StroNKER like present poly triangle just entirely beats the shit out of past poly triangle yknow

 **johnn** : I'm

 **johnn** : stronger How I'm curious

 **little lion** : like it's,,,Real this time?? like our plans are more Concrete and it's not just ambiguously either going to end or not it's like,,,we Know we're gonna get married, we know Roughly when in terms of like a three year window,,,,and like I love them so much and I'm !! gonna be with them for the rest of my life like I am with all y'all and I'm just !! really lucky and I love you all sm

 **little lion** : and they're having a movie day w jane and lucy and I just miss them already they're so cute

 **more like HUNKules** : alex that's so sweet I love you

 **little lion** : I'm emotional where are lafayette and john

 **laf** : we're at the pizza place Station?? do you want anything !!

 **more like HUNKules** : I have to keep driving so I'm fine

 **little lion** : can you get me a plain slice of pizza,,,

 **johnn** : of course!!

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : wait do they have other things besides pizza I'm hungry

 **johnn** : we got you garlic breadsticks

 **more like HUNKules** : t h a n k y o u

 **laf** : also alex!! the james and thomas thing!! I love you sm !!

 **johnn** : I'm sO EXCITED FOR THE POLY TRIANGLE WEDDING CA N I BE BEST MAN

 **more like HUNKules** : NO?? YOU CANT?? ITS TAKEN

 **johnn** : HERC!! U!! LES!! YOU'RE NOT A LLL O W ED !!

 **more like HUNKules** : WE BOTH HAVE EQUAL GROUND HERE !! BUT I CALLED IT

 **johnn** : THIS IS MY DESTINY HERCULES PLEASE!!

 **more like HUNKules** : SORRY CANT HEAR YOU OVER BUYING MY BEAUTIFUL LOVELY HUSBAND CINNABON GOODBYE!!

 **johnn** : IMMSBJSDB AL E X

 **little lion** : ok we're gonna talk abt this Later because hercules Is buying me cinnabon and also thomas and james have like forty siblings and we have a son!! so

 **laf** : PIP !! OMG !!  
\---

 **frances** : did any of you happen to buy gummies when I was getting soda

 **james** : !! yes I have so many gummies which ones do you want

 **james** : I have Various Fruits and then ones that are like specific?? like I have berries and one is just like,,,citrus,,,

 **frances** : ooh open the berries but give me the purple grapes Only

 **france eyes** : ooH I'll take the ones she doesn't want let's Destroy my diet

 **james** : ,,,,,wait we're in this bus alone,,,,,and I haven't kissed you in like,,,two hours

 **frances** : Y E S

\---

 **little lion** : I don't LIKE getting in a car knowing my daughter was making out with her boyfriends two seconds before I got in

 **little lion** : LIKE I REALLY HATE IT

 **johnn** : ME TOO BUT DON'T TALK ABOUT IT IF WE DONT TALK ABOUT THEN ITS NOT,,,,REAL

 **laf** : hSHHSKHDKSH

\---

 **james** : bich I'm blushgn

 **frances** : hJSHJH you didn't even spell bitch right

 **james** : we were just Walked In On

 **france eyes** : hKHKSH you weren't even kissing either of us we were kissing each other like honey

 **france eyes** : I love you

 **james** : do nOT TRY TO KISS ME RIGHT NOW I WILL DIE

 **frances** : you're so CUTE

 **james** : GMNGMNGMN EAT YOUR GUMMIES AND STOP PINCHING MY CHEEKS BEFORE I KILL YOU

 **france eyes** : oUR TINY TINY BF I LOVE HIM SO MUCH NDBMSN COME HERE

 **james** : IM SUING YOU AND RENTING A BIKE HOME GOODBYE!! DIVORCED!!

 **frances** : NO DONT LOOK OUT THE WINDOW WE LOVE YOU SM!!

 **james** : I'm going to kill you both in two seconds my face is Burning

 **france eyes** : soRRY FOR MAKING YOU FLUSTERED

 **frances** : !! WE LOVE YOU SM FOR REAL

 **james** : ,,,,I love you too,,,,or whatever

 **james** : who has the cheetos

 **france eyes** : ,,I do but is it alright if I kiss your forehead rn bc I love you dearly

 **james** : ,,fine come here

 **france eyes** : yay!!

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : YOU GOT FOOD W I T H O U T US

 **anastasie** : DAD TRIED TO WAKE YOU UP LIKE SIX TIMES BUT YOU JUST WENT FURTHER UNDER YOUR BLANKET AND WOULDNT SO KARMA BITCH I THINK THEY GOT YOU PIZZA

 **pip pip doodly doo** : !! :^O THEY GOT US FRENCH FRIES O^: !!

 **theodosia the Second** : Y E S

 **theodosia the Second** : :^(( but they have cinnabon

 **pip pip doodly doo** : there's cinnabon at the beach I will Buy you cinnabon

 **theodosia the Second** : ,,,I Have money

 **pip pip doodly doo** : then I will Take you to cinnabon

 **theodosia the Second** : y e s

 **france eyes** : I feel like I should introduce myself to theodosia bc I've never actually met her so hi I'm francis henderson I work at a smoothie bar that your dad goes to sometimes he's my fave he tips like 50%

 **theodosia the Second** : HSHDJH hi I'm theodosia burr jr. and I work at A Museum where I organize brochures and then spend the rest of the time telling people where the bathrooms are and staring at Boats

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I love you

 **theodosia the Second** : <3 I love you too

 **james** : hello I'm james cunnington I Also work at the smoothie bar and I Hate it

 **france eyes** : aw :(( but it's how we met

 **james** : ,,,,and I will be forever grateful for that but at the same time YOU didn't have to clean the bathrooms before being promoted to fucking smoothie maker you got to go RIGHT to the top

 **france eyes** : fair fair but you did look sUper cute in your scrubbing gloves and I did fall in love w you in those

 **james** : s t o p

 **theodosia the Second** : aW

 **james** : it reALLY isn't he used to bULLY ME

 **france eyes** : I DID N O T

 **james** : YES YOU DID

 **theodosia the Second** : oh god what have I done

 **france eyes** : WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

 **france eyes** : DID YOU THINK THAT WHEN I CALLED YOU CUTE ALL THOSE TIMES AND PINCHED YOUR CHEEKS AND SHIT THAT I WAS MAKING FUN OF YOU??

 **france eyes** : JAMES IM SO GAY AND IN LOVE WITH YOU I WAS PINCHING YOUR CHEEKS TWO SECONDS AGO BC I LOVE YOU SM

 **james** : ,,,,oh my god wait

 **france eyes** : JAMES MY BABE

 **frances** : I am eighteen. I play the trombone and am fluent in three Different Languages. I am going to college in a month. I am going to an ivy league school. I graduated top three in my class and I got accepted to like,,,Every school I applied to,,,,I am dating two five year olds

 **pip pip doodly doo** : KHKSHDLJHDKJSHD

\---

 **frances** : what were y'all even Like before you met me you never talk abt it

 **james** : IM PISSED NOW WE WERE STUPID AS FUCK

 **france eyes** : I CANT BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT I WAS MAKING FUN OF YOU WHEN I WAS TRYING TO GET YOU TO DATE ME

 **james** : NO YOU HAD A CRUSH ON ME DO NOT EQUATE THAT TO FLIRTING BECAUSE YOU COULD NOT CANNOT AND WILL NOT EVER BE ABLE TO FLIRT WITH ME YOURE CUTE AND I LOVE YOU BUT YOU TRYING TO FLIRT WITH ME IS YOU TELLING ME MY GLOVES LOOK SHINY AND THEN BLUSHING WHEN I LOOK AT YOU

 **france eyes** : aye, but it is true

 **frances** : I should come to the smoothie shop more often you do both look v cute in polo shirts but at the same time hearing your customer service voices literally petrify me because that's not what you sound like At All

 **james** : I don't like who I Become using my customer service voice tbh unless it's like,,,a child,,,bc they're nice and don't need to know abt me being literal trash

 **france eyes** : mood

 **frances** : I Love This

 **james** : I'm so happy I get to make smoothies now I would actually rather die than clean that bathroom again

 **france eyes** : we're gonna be smoothie husbands that's so funny

 **frances** : I'm gonna be such a lucky and vitamin infused wife

 **james** : can we buy a villa in the country somewhere when we're older and just never leave and eat cheese and fruit plates in the country and drink like,,,,wine,,,,which I don't like buT not the point I can make smoothies and watch you two get wine drunk and dance to records

 **frances** : yes

 **frances** : but we need the small apartment vibe first I have to have that

 **james** : aw we're gonna be so cute

 **france eyes** : I'm so excited to have a future with you!! I need to decide what I want to do with mine though

 **france eyes** : maybe I want to be a teacher

 **frances** : what would you teach??

 **france eyes** : who knows

 **james** : ,,,,alright,,,,we support you

 **france eyes** : we'll see

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : WE'RE IN BEACH TOWN

 **pip pip doodly doo** : BRING ME POPCORN RESTAURANT

 **little lion** : I know you're my kid and I love you but did you HAVE to scream I was half in a cinnabon coma

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,yes it was important that dad didn't miss the stop into the popcorn restaurant

 **little lion** : ,,,popcorn is not all they have here,,,

 **pip pip doodly doo** : but it's all I Care about

 **little lion** : fair

\---

 **laf** : alex is so cute his glasses are so fucking big I can't see for shit

 **little lion** : I literally cannot get out of the bus if you don't give me them back everything is colorful blurs I feel like I'm high

 **little lion** : I've never Been high but I feel like this is what it'd be like

 **laf** : they're just big ass circles I love you so much you wear bubbles on your Face that let you See you're so beautiful

 **johnn** : while we're on the topic of glasses can we talk about how hercules says he needs them all the time but won't get them

 **little lion** : wHY DID YOU LET HIM DRIVE

 **more like HUNKules** : it's mostly stuff up close I have problems with but uh I Do have a Pair but I don't like to wear them and have Never worn them outside my studio

 **little lion** : WHAT

 **laf** : HERCULES

 **johnn** : WHERE ARE THEY

 **little lion** : WE'RE YOUR SPOUSES WHERE ARE YOUR GLASSES YOU'RE PUTTING THEM ON N O W

 **more like HUNKules** : ,,,,they're in john's bag under the pajamas he only packed to act like he isn't gonna steal my shirts

 **johnn** : MY O W N HUSBAND

 **more like HUNKules** : sORRY

 **johnn** : I HAVE THEM

 **little lion** : LAFAYETTE PLEASE GIVE ME MY GLASSES BACK

 **laf** : OH!! RIGHT !! HERE LOVE

 **little lion** : you were just a blur of hair and your dress you looked like the fucking Sun I love you

 **laf** : I love you too!!

 **johnn** : :^O!! THEYRE BIG AND SQUARE

 **more like HUNKules** : he's crying

 **johnn** : YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUNNING

 **more like HUNKules** : j o h n

\---

 **james** : are your parents okay

 **theodosia the Second** : why are none of you reacting to this your dad is sobbing

 **pip pip doodly doo** : this is,,,a regular saturday afternoon for us,,,,,

 **anastasie** : oh!! dad got glasses that's why

 **frances** : finALLY pops asked him to read a paragraph from this book last week for something and he got every word except like,,,three,,,in the sentence Wrong because the font makes the ""spaces too close together""

 **france eyes** : is it weird to say how in love your glasses dad looks with your crying dad

 **frances** : yes but it's understandable they're really gross

 **anastasie** : and now alex and laf are out and Crying and ?? do we just go in

 **pip pip doodly doo** : if we all get out then they'll Stop

 **pip pip doodly doo** : but someone has to wake up aunt elizabeth and uncle hugh bc I don't want to last time he fuckign smashed his skull into my forehead bc I ""scared him""

 **anastasie** : william is awake he wants food so we're Getting Out and I stole dad's wallet

 **theodosia the Second** : how do you know who you're talking about when you say dad

 **frances** : really it's a raffle

 **frances** : now she's talking about john bc alex carries his wallet w him at All times and hercules' is still on the floor over there

 **pip pip doodly doo** : wait just take par's purse like ?? money And spearmint gum who are you kidding with dad's credit card and Pennies

 **anastasie** : ,,,tru

 **anastasie** : okAY LETS GO

\---

 **laf** : YOUR CHILD IS WITH OUR CHILDREN AND THEY STOLE HIM

 **hugh lowercase** : do you know what it's like to fall asleep ten minutes away from your house and wake up in beach town to this fucking text message

 **laf** : ITS THE TRUTH THEY TOOK HIM AND THEYRE IN THE RESTAURANT AND THEY STOLE MY PURSE AND JOHNS WALLET

 **hugh lowercase** : ughhg we're coming

 **laf** : THANK

\---

 **theodosia the Second** : are you gonna Eat eat

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I would but just love popcorn sm

 **theodosia the Second** : ,,,,babe

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,are You gonna eat eat

 **theodosia the Second** : ,,,,,we should both eat shouldn't we

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ya probs

 **theodosia the Second** : I want more french fries but we should probs get smth else too just bc like,,,living is a thing we have to do

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,there's a 12 wing special wanna split w me

 **theodosia the Second** : ye !!

 **pip pip doodly doo** : wOO

\---

 **frances** : do you ever just Love francis

 **james** : he's so cute

 **frances** : he is Inhaling chicken wings right now and I just am so in love with him

 **james** : we're weird as fuck

 **frances** : yeah but at the same time francis is cute look at him eatin popcorn and chicken and loving life

 **james** : I know <3

 **james** : I love you too y'know

 **frances** : I know

 **james** : I just wanted to !! make sure

 **james** : I feel like we've been so focused on being like,,,on a trip with your Parents Present we haven't really remembered that we're on a trip with You and it puts you in a weird position and idk!! I want to be here!! you're the love of my entire whole life and I'm sure of that !! but it feels like I haven't really explained that

 **frances** : ,,,jAMES

 **james** : oh no I made you cry

 **james** : I made you cry in a restaurant at the beach oh no

 **france eyes** : you almost got fucking death stare killed james

 **james** : you kissed me because I made you cry in a restaurant at the beach

 **frances** : you're !! I was gonna talk to you about it later because I know you're both really nervous about this and trying to like !! be ""normal"" around my parents and I wasn't sure if it's because you don't want to be here or if you just are that really nervous and !! I love you so much I didn't want to force you to be in a place you didn't want to be for a whole week and like !! I just didn't know and then you buss out w calling me the love of your life and just like !! destroying me emotionally and I love you sm !!

 **france eyes** : frances!! babe!!

 **james** : I'm sorry!!

 **frances** : you don't have to be!! it's not sad tears I'm just overwhelmed by how incredibly in love I am with you!! and how you called me the love of your life!!

 **james** : is this?? the first time I've called you that??

 **frances** : nO but it's like right now at a table w my family and like holding my hand stresses you out rn so like !! you texted it to me and then I kissed you and you Said it and it's like !!

 **france eyes** : we love you!! we're sorry if we've been weird

 **frances** : it's okay!! I just worry!!

 **james** : but we're supposed to help you so you Don't worry

 **frances** : I love you too

 **frances** : god I fucking Hate my parents for giving me this Mentality that crying in public is just an OKAY thing to do

 **france eyes** : it,,,Is

 **frances** : noT THIS MUCH

 **frances** : itS FINE I NEED A MOMENT LOOK A W AY

 **frances** : whEN I SAY LOOK AWYA WHERE DOES THAT SYA KISS MY HAIR AND KILL MEKHEKEH

 **james** : I feel so bad I'm

 **frances** : youRE FINE !! I PROMISE!! IVE STOPPED CRYING AND NOW I WANT MORE POPCORN

 **james** : getting

 **frances** : tY

\---

 **laf** : are you alright mon ange

 **frances** : you know when your boyfriend Kills You

 **laf** : ,,,,in what way

 **frances** : he too cute

 **laf** : okay then yes I understand you don't have to explain it

 **frances** : I need a Moment

 **laf** : that is fine I'm going back to staring at hercules now

 **frances** : have fun

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : I am 43 years old.

 **more like HUNKules** : I went to an ivy league. I've been married three times and have had zero divorces.

 **more like HUNKules** : I have three children and my own very successful business with apprentices who call me Cloth Dad

 **more like HUNKules** : I have been Around the World.

 **more like HUNKules** : anD YET

 **more like HUNKules** : HERE I AM

 **more like HUNKules** : BLUSHING LIKE A TWELVE YEAR OLD IN A FUCKING GROTTOS PIZZAZZ SPORTS BAR BRANCH BECAUSE MY SPOUSES CANT STOP STARING AT ME IN GLASSES

 **little lion** : OUT OF ALL THE TIMES TO WHIP THESE OUT

 **little lion** : IT AB SO LU T E L Y HA D TO BE WHEN WE CANNOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU FOR A WEEK

 **more like HUNKules** : a l eX

 **little lion** : HERCULES I SWEAR TO GOD !! WHEN WE GET HOME !!

 **more like HUNKules** : mgngm I love you

 **little lion** : I love you too!!

 **johnn** : hercules is so beautiful and he's in YELLOW goodbye

 **johnn** : cause of death: too gay to see own husband in some plastic and a color

 **laf** : honestly hercules is so beautiful and he's got that JAw and the glasses make the jaw just go bAM and I feel like I've been killed in the heart by my husband

 **more like HUNKules** : ,,,,we should go to bed early tonight,,,,

 **little lion** : how do we swing that and also I am Loud and the house has Thin Walls

 **more like HUNKules** : I can say I'm tired bc driving and then y'all come w me bc I'm soft and you love me

 **more like HUNKules** : also I,,,brought Things,,,,so it is not a Worry

 **little lion** : you kill me

 **little lion** : but you are so pretty come here I'm gonna kiss ya

 **more like HUNKules** : can we ban alex from kissing our noses in public I don't liKE melting in front of other people

 **laf** : MOOD!!!

 **johnn** : !!!!!!!

 **little lion** : ,,,,rude but fine

 **johnn** : we love you!!

 **more like HUNKules** : sm!!

 **laf** : !!

 **little lion** : I love you too !!

\---

 **theodosia the Second** : ,,,,ok so your parents said we're just relaxing for the rest of the day and unpacking n junk,,,,soOOo

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I alREADY HAVE THE GOOD SHEETS YOU HAVE TO HELP ME PUT THEM ON BUT RIGHT AFTER WE'RE TAKING ALL THE THROW BLANKETS AND Y E S WE CAN NAP

 **theodosia the Second** : you literally are a Nuisance I'm so cozy and comfortable around you you make me wanna just sleep and cuddle how am I supposed to hold a job

 **theodosia the Second** : just !! to clear!! I don't mean that I love you and I love sleeping next to you and I was Not serious I'm sorry

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I love you too and you're okay

 **theodosia the Second** : you got all frowny

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I uh,,,had a minute where I got Spooked but it's okay now help me make !! the bed !!

 **theodosia the Second** : ,,,,I wanna be big spoon

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,fine,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 **theodosia the Second** : wOOO

\---

 **james** : philip and theodosia going Directly to bed after getting here is a big ass mood

 **frances** : today is just such a good day to fucking sleep!!! but we have to unpack because pip takes up like,,,All the counter space?? and that space is Mine now

 **france eyes** : don't you all like?? share hair products n stuff??

 **frances** : yeS but we all have different things bc apparently coconut oil like Kills pip but I have a shit ton of coconut stuff sO

 **james** : let's gO

\---

 **frances** : ,,,I've never seen either of you shave before,,,

 **frances** : like you've,,,never done it in front of me,,,

 **frances** : I Need this now

 **james** : it is Shaving

 **frances** : I know but like,,,,it's Weird,,,,I want to

 **france eyes** : tomorrow

 **frances** : come here

 **france** eyes: ~~~~~

 **james:** rude

 **france** **eyes** : you can get in on the kissing yknow you Just have to come here so we can Reach You

 **james** : oh!! yay

\---

 **little lion** : ,,,,everyone is asleep,,,,,hugh and elizabeth aren't even on our Floor they're passed out on the couch,,,,,and We have plans

 **laf** : ,,,hercules come with us we have Things to show you

 **more like HUNKules** : I'm

 **johnn** : yes very important things wow look at all these things that we have,,to show you

 **more like HUNKules** : we've been together twenty years,,,,if you Want to have sex with me in my glasses you literally just have to ask me

 **little lion** : caN we have sex w you in your glasses rn rn rn rn

 **more like HUNKules** : I'm on my way up

 **laf** : y e S

\---

 **theodosia the Second** : what are we doing for Dinner

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I'm right next to you

 **theodosia the Second** : but ana is asleep and I don't want to wake her

 **pip pip doodly doo** : you're so beautiful I love you sm

 **pip pip doodly doo** : also idk I'll ask

 **theodosia the Second** : KHKDHSKDH I love you too !!

 **pip pip doodly doo** : !!

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : wHAT is for dinner

 **little lion** : uHHh who knows

 **pip pip doodly doo** : I'm?? thanks

 **little lion** : I'll asK your other parents

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ughhhghhg

\---

 **little lion** : what is for dinner

 **laf** : oh!! idk !! can we have cheeseburgers

 **more like HUNKules** : we have to shower first but ya

 **johnn** : !! we don't have cheeseburgers so someone has to go grocery shopping

 **little lion** : I can't drive the bus I'll die

 **johnn** : rt

 **laf** : I want to fucking nap tbh

 **little lion** : that too

 **more like HUNKules** : I can ask one of the kids to do it

 **more like HUNKules** : or hugh

 **johnn** : okie but come here you're napping with us

 **more like HUNKules** : of course

 **little lion** : we love you

 **more like HUNKules** : I love you too

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : wANNa go grocery shopping we don't want to

 **hugh lowercase** : uh william is asleep on elizabeth who is asleep on me and I can't move until they wake up so

 **more like HUNKules** : aw that's so cute I'll ask frances

 **hugh lowercase** : !! god bless

\---

 **more like HUNKules** : do you want to go grocery shopping for us

 **frances** : I'm?? can I bring francis and james

 **more like HUNKule** s: yeah?? why not??

 **frances** : okay then ya give me money

 **frances** : wait why can't you go

 **more like HUNKules** : we'll be starting dinner while you go

 **frances** : ,,,okay,,,sure,,,,,

 **more like HUNKules** : do you want this money or not

 **frances** : yA coming down now

 **more like HUNKules** : bless

\---

 **frances** : can I buy Extra stuff Not on the list

 **johnn** : like what

 **frances** : well there's two for 5 deal for boxes of fudgsicles

 **johnn** : I don't care about the price buy three boxes

 **frances** : yA S

\---

 **france eyes** : I really like being cute and domestic with you

 **frances** : ,,,it's weird that you say With Us like you are Near Us because we caNNOT SEE YOU AT ALL

 **france eyes** : don't look for me just tell me where you are right now

 **frances** : we are looking at cheese

 **france eyes** : okay I'm coming and before you ask no you do not have to pay for these I have money

 **frances** : ???

 **frances** : oH!!

\---

 **frances** : we are oN our way home w groceries

 **frances** : and also flowers but th'ain't For you

 **more like HUNKules** : bless alex and john are downstairs in the kitchen just,,,break the cost of the groceries to them

 **frances** : stone cold dad

 **more like HUNKules** : sometimes you gotta take one for the team, other times you have to sacrifice your team to take one for You

 **frances** : ,,,,,,jesus

\---

 **little lion** : frances spent almost two hundred dollars on ice cream and cheese

 **laf** : she bought bREAD none of us brought bread with us

 **johnn** : we were focused on snack foods and pasta n shit

 **more like HUNKules** : but in our defense when are we Not focused on snack foods and pasta

 **johnn** : exactly!! so we're on par w the brand

 **more like HUNKule** s: ya

 **johnn** : !! also come down here you and laf have been up there forever

 **more like HUNKules** : we're moisturizing

 **laf** : just because y'all somehow don't get ashy doesn't mean we're willing to subject ourselves to it

 **little lion** : hHAK I love you both sm we're making the crinkly french fries

 **little lion** : also we're making brownies later

 **johnn** : william said he wants to help!! our small nephew he can barely reach the stove

 **more like HUNKules** : !! whY IS HE TOUCHING THE STOVE

 **johnn** : he wanted to turn it on but alex pulled him away and is now holding him like,,,on his hip,,,,and I love alex so much because remember when our kids were little

 **laf** : :^(( let's have two more

 **more like HUNKules** : honey we're Old

 **laf** : fine

 **laf** : remember when our kids were little and we were like,,32,,,and alex would just sit on the floor of the living room and talk to philip for like,,,Hours,,,,because he was so tiny and he wanted to play soccer so bad but not on the cardinals he wanted to be a the fucking shark soccer team and we were just like yes of course and we fought like,,,six people bc he's our Son and he slayed that entire fucking soccer league and I can't breathe he so old now

 **laf** : remember when we got frances!! and she would laugh every time I spoke because she wasn't used to my voice and I'd talk to her all the time because she was so cute and my heart was literally overflowing and she was our first child!! and it was like for my whole life I thought I would never ever graduate college let alone get married to three people so beautiful and kind that my heart still beats faster even now and have children with you and frances was just so small and when john used to go to on walks with her and bring back ice cream and we were so happy and we still are but she's going to college soon and I !!

 **laf** : and then ana came along and she !! would just sit on hercules' lap and watch him knit with wide ass eyes and he's so cute he'd just laugh and keep going until she fell asleep and then carry her to her room and then she learned to knit and then she tried to learn everything almost like,,,died,,,and then alex was like no wait !! let me Help you Organize and she took after him and she's so independent and she's still little but she's like 90 years old and is anyone reading these I don't care I'm having like twenty retrospects at once

 **johnn** : ,,,,do you mean flashbacks

 **laf** : ,,,,restrospects.

 **johnn** : okay

 **johnn** : also !! come here

 **laf** : yes please hug me I'm a mess

 **johnn** : my baBE !!

 **little lion** : I love you and lafayette you are so cute and I love our children and Memories but at the same time

 **little lion** : dinner making

 **laf** : I like crying better though

 **little lion** : dearest <3

 **laf** : okay yeah yeah yeah I'm good let's go

 **little lion** : !! you can work on the mac and cheese !!

 **laf** : I wanna do the crinkly fries first before you don't

 **little lion** : of course my love

 **laf** : I love you sm

 **little lion** : I love you too!!

\---

 **anastasie** : HELLO GC WITH EVERYONE HERE IN IT EXCEPT WILLIAM BC HES TEN BUT !! HOW IS THE SHOWER SITCH WORKING

 **frances** : jesus

 **little lion** : oh jeez

 **little lion** : okay so there's four showers there's yours, ours, the one by the kitchen, and then the one in hugh and elizabeth's room

 **more like HUNKules** : thirteen people so that's roughly three people per shower

 **johnn** : we have our own shower all of our shit is Already in it

 **laf** : so that's frances, francis, james, pip, theo, ana, hugh, elizabeth, and william without one

 **elizabeth s** : william, me, and hugh can shower in our room

 **laf** : frances, francis, james, pip, theo, and anna

 **anastasie** : I call the one in the kitchen it's Detached

 **theodosia the Second** : uh I'll take that one too if it's no trouble??

 **anastasie** : woo we can go halvsies on shelf space

 **laf** : frances, francis, james, pip

 **frances** : f2j will take the shower in our room

 **laf** : ,,,,,,,,,,hmm

 **frances** : at Different Times

 **laf** : okay

 **laf** : also f2j is so cute ily

 **frances** : ily2!! when is dinner

 **laf** : half hour

 **laf** : also pip pick a shower

 **pip pip doodly doo** : kitchen it's the least Stocked

 **laf** : okie

 **frances** : whY DOESNT HE HAVE TO MAKE THE RPOMISE

 **pip pip doodly doo** : ONE OF US IS ACE AND IT AINT YOU

 **frances** : ,,,,being ace doesn't necessarily mean that though

 **pip pip doodly doo** : well it doES FOR ME GOODBYE

 **frances** : KSDHSKDH FINE

 **laf** : amazing

\---

 **james** : ,,,did you just have to promise your parent

 **james** : that we

 **frances** : yes

 **james** : right

\---

 **laf** : diNNER IS READY WE HAVE BURGERS AND FRIES BC WE ARE AMERICAN

 **frances** : ,,,,you're,,,,,from france

 **laf** : and yet I am a citizen of boTH

 **laf** : theREFORE

 **frances** : hmm fine

 **laf** : coME!! EAT!!

 **frances** : riGHT!! WE'RE COMING !!

 **laf** : gOD BLESS

\---

 **little lion** : honestly it's so funny watching our children try to act like they're?? not dating their significant others

 **little lion** : like when frances asked james to pass her the french fries and he like,,,stuttered for a long ass time before just saying ya and passing her the french fries like What's Happening

 **laf** : they're like,,,babies,,,it's kinda cute actually remember when they came for dinner that one time when we found out they were dating and they were like,,,panicking bc they were two seconds late and got me chocolates

 **johnn** : got US chocolate

 **laf** : ,,,anyway

 **laf** : this is like that but they haven't figured out that we really don't care like,,,we were children,,,,,,once?? idk what I'm saying we met when we were 22 and I never really Dated people until you

 **little lion** : ,,,,we didn't have fun as being children??

 **little lion** : overall it was a,,,,not great

 **laf** : ,,,yeah,,,,,uh,,,,before we go to a Bad place here, I'm glad I have you now and I love you all so much

 **little lion** : yeah!! we probably shouldn't go there and !! I love you too!! I'm so lucky to have been blessed w you as my spouse and person I get to love!!

 **laf** : !!!

\---

 **little lion** : bED BED BED!! TIME TO SLEEP WE ARE WAKING UP AT EIGHT TOMORROW FOR THE BEACH I AM MAKING W A F F L E S FOR BREAKFAST THERE W I L L BE WHIPPED CREAM

 **frances** : ,,,was I supposed to buy whipped cream??

 **little lion** : THERE WILL BE NO WHIPPED CREAM BUT THEYRE GOOD WAFFLES IM CONFIDENT IN MY ABILITIES AND YOU CAN ENJOY THEM REGARDLESS

 **frances** : nice

\---

 **johnn** : hhhghghg I had so many brownies

 **more like HUNKules** : ya you fucking cut out the border of the whole fucking pan and ate All of it

 **johnn** : love you??

 **more like HUNKules** : gO upstairs

 **johnn** : ya love me

 **more like HUNKules** : unfortunately with my whole entire heart now come oN !! our spouses are cute af and I want to sleep!!

 **little lion** : !! if you don't get in here in two seconds we will literally hide all the facewash and you will be Cracked and Oily at the Same time tomorrow

 **johnn** : !! coMING

 **laf** : that's what we thought

\---

 **pip pip doodly doo** : now I'm not fucking tired anymore

 **frances** : well I am so shut up

 **pip pip doodly doo** : fuck you anyway

 **frances** : WOW

 **pip pip doodly doo** : anyone wanna play cards

 **theodosia the Second** : what would we play

 **pip pip doodly doo** : idk I just don't want to sleep

 **theodosia the Second** : me either

 **pip pip doodly doo** : !! we could make out

 **anastasie** : PLEASE PLAN THIS IN YOUR OWN CHAT

 **theodosia the Second** : !! come here

 **anastasie** : oh my god I want a new bed I can hear you laughing

 **pip pip doodly doo** : don't hate us cause you aint us

 **anastasie** : HSHDKSDHSJDH

**Author's Note:**

> !! this is a mess !! sorry it's been so long !! except I'm not bc this is a billion words long, took me five days, and is free content that I get no pay for !! :) comments are appreciated
> 
> tumblr: lol-phan-af


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